Sunday, December 11, 2011

Our Journey to Adoption

This is a difficult post to write.  It is impossible to convey the hopelessness and confusion that accompanies trying to do something that you feel you were put on this earth to do - "multiply and replenish the earth".  I have always known that I would be a mother.  That is the one thing that has comforted me through all of this.  My impatience frequently gets in the way (that is my nature).

Edward and I have planned on having children from the start - no waiting for us!  We figured we were already too old to hold off (oh, how young we were!).  We both wanted a large family (and that may still be in the cards for us - who knows?).  We both also figured it would happen pretty quickly.  Other family members were getting pregnant right and left, and we were sure that we would soon have children joining the throngs of new cousins.  We went through one round of new cousins, then two, then three, then four.  But for us, still nothing.  We went to several doctors, who helped us out in various ways, but we still did not achieve our end goal of becoming pregnant.  Fertility procedures are not fun - mix together vulnerability, romance on a schedule, and drugs that make you crazy hormonal - and you're going to end up a mess, physically and emotionally.

There came a point where I could not do it anymore.  We were exhausting our savings, I was losing hair (literally) and was a total emotional basketcase, and I could not handle the disappointment one more time.  So we stopped.  My hair grew back (Whew!), my sanity was restored, and adoption became the right thing to do.  We had already begun the process, so we now put ourselves 100% into getting ourselves approved.

Now that we are approved, we pray daily that the right child will enter our lives.  We have so much to offer and KNOW that we will be good, loving parents.  We know that Heavenly Father has a plan for our family, and we trust that in His time, our family will be made complete.


Matt and Haley said...

Well written. You both will be amazing parents when that first little one arrives. Adoption is an amazing process! I have two wonderful nephews that are adopted. Check out my sister's blog if you get a chance. She'd LOVE to talk with you.

Megan said...

Love this post, and as hard as it may have been to write it was beautiful and inspirational! On a small level I understand the difficulties of dealing with infertility, but I will never understand it to this magnitude...and all I can think about is how STRONG the two of you are! I am excited for your new journey!

Rachel said...

Wow. What a beautiful post. I'll keep my fingers crossed. There is some little kid out there waiting to become part of your family.
Hope you have a Merry Christmas :)

Donna said...

Aine, is my friend. She posted a link to this on facebook. I re-posted this blog link to my other friends. Many of my friends have turned to foreign adoption.

One friend responded,"There are many babies and children available on waiting lists here in China." So, I thought I would share her comment here.

God bless you for your willingness to look to adoption to fill your family.